It seems a tragedy that I should let a person like him float in and then float out of my life without taking the time to get to know him. Suddenly I can’t stand the distance between us. There will be plenty of time for distance later when he’s married. Suddenly it doesn’t matter how badly it’s going to hurt…
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Usually when I imagine moving out again, it is to a place that’s very much like my studio in Flatbush where I lived with my husband… but why limit the imagination? I’d like to own a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights or Cobble Hill or a similar neighborhood… one of those three-or-four-story historical houses with a wide open back yard (you think we don’t have back yards in New York? We have back yards… some of us…)
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And every time it carries me
it carries me so far and so fast
that I don’t know where I am
Sorry, I’ve been reading tea party rhetoric. That’s where that last joke sequence came from. “Classic, why were you…” Shut up! But no, seriously though folks… actually I don’t even remember where I was going with this one. Eh, fuck it. They can’t all be gems…
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The strange part about it is that he’s walking around the kitchen now as I type this in the adjacent room. I’d say I’m tempted to ask about the aforementioned incidents, but I’m a little nervous that they might be true. If they are, then I don’t know who that stranger is who is claiming to be my father.
...read more hereTwo memes in a row? Really? I’ve been kind of out of it, very busy with fast-approaching deadlines, sleep deprived, [insert more excuses here], etc. I’ve been a little angry and a little frustrated and not much able to put words together coherently. I was going to write a lighthearted post about my girlfriend from down the way and her little run-in with free-mason based conspiracy theories… but I just can’t right now
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I don’t know why I have a therapist. Okay, yes I do: ’twas the doctor’s order. But on the real tip (as the older cats say) I don’t know why I have a therapist. Don’t get me wrong; she seems like a good person, and she genuinely tries to follow what I say, but talking to her feels like talking to you, and I don’t pay nearly as much to talk to you.
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As I understand it, Saturn will be in Libra for a month or so. This is bad timing for me. I don’t want a dispelling of illusions. Illusions are the only things that make life worth living. Illusions and alcohol…
...read more hereMaybe, I thought to myself, maybe I have that famous wanderers’ disease, and I’m simply never happy with the destination… any destination.
On further consideration, that’s bullshit, because I’m happy right now.
...read more hereIt’s amazing the things I learned to live without while there. I was locked up for two weeks, and I didn’t miss the internet. I didn’t miss rum or tequila. I didn’t miss a cheeseburger. I didn’t miss busy-ness or productivity. Fuck, I didn’t even miss my shoelaces that much. I haven’t even put them back on my shoes yet.
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