I know that I have a tendency to fall into the belief that everyone else is, including my old-but-obviously-inexperienced-with-the-ways-of-the-world therapist (can you tell that I’m a youngster?) and that I am the only person in the room if not in the world with half an ounce of vision and good sense. I told the doctors that at Bellevue. They raised their eyebrows at me and nodded their heads. I guess everyone in Bellevue says that, huh?
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I wrote this last year while I was in the hospital. It’s no longer true… my hair looked a mess in the hospital and not so much after I came out of it, but I felt like sharing anyway.
...read more hereI hate it like I hate chauvinism. I hate it like I hate racism. I hate it like I hate looking at pictures of the holocaust. I hate it like I hate police corruption. I hate it like I hated the Bush administration. I hate it more than I hate my mother, more than I hate disrespectful men, more than I hate bad music, more than I hate Boston sports teams…
...read more hereIn that moment I reached out to the switchboard which was sizzling and crackling with overloaded wires and disconnected mine. My movements became smooth and graceful and regulated like a ballet dancer performing her signature piece. Ladies and gentlemen, I was out of there.
...read more hereShe knows about clothes, though. Much more than I do. She’s got closets and suitcases full of Club Monaco and Express and bebe… She told me to be careful with her jacket as she’s only had it a month. It’s her “baby.”
...read more hereIt’s not that I dislike to pace alone; I’d leap at the chance if it were truly possible. I enjoy my own company. However, nature abhors a vacuum and so do men who seem to think that the space created beside me needs to be filled by their vapid pick-up attempts. Ugh.
...read more hereThis hospital doesn’t lie the way the universe does. The universe wants you to do shit and keep doing shit. Put out that positive energy. Work hard, the universe lies. Five years of doing shit and now I’m back in my parents’ house.
...read more hereWhile I’m here thinking of him, he’s out there thinking of the Undertaker.
I’m suddenly glad once again to be where I am, safe in a hospital where such big bad evil things as my ex-husband’s apathy can’t get me.
...read more hereThe view will become more stunning later when I turn out the lights in this room and the brilliance of the Manhattan skyline really begins to speak. It’s a sort of self-incarcerated prison that I’m in, but beauty makes it tolerable.
Oh, who am I kidding? I’m having a blast here.
...read more hereWhat I have found is that which I suppose I always knew: that I am not crazy. I have no required medication. No pills to get up, pills to sleep, pills to eat, pills to shit…
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