But it was so strange… I couldn’t even believe it as it was happening. It took all of my will power to stop the words from pouring effervescently out of my mouth, to stop them from bubbling up and betraying me.
“I’m losing my mind,” I kept saying over and over.
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I wish I’d had a weapon, or that I’d had longer nails. I wish I’d had a stick or a broken bottle. I wish I’d thought to poke his eyes out. I would have gone to jail, but it would have been worth it.
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I’m old enough to understand where the AIDS stigma came from and young enough that I don’t necessarily see it. As far as I know, AIDS is a character in Rent, and that play is outmoded by twenty years or so. Seriously… don’t let anyone tell you that Alphabet City still looks like it did in that play.
...read more hereLast sunday I went shopping at an Albertson’s in San Diego. I don’t even know what I was shopping for, and it’s entirely likely that I left the supermarket empty handed. I was trying to keep myself centered. I probably just wanted a walk. I was thinking of a person I thought I would never see again. A boy.
This song came on and I nearly lost it.
...read more hereThere was a time when I could not come through St. Albans without that gripping pathos that clung to my ribs. I thought the entire Q3 route from about 120th avenue all the way to 179th street was tainted with the blood of my failed first relationship. The laundromat… the chicken shack… the churches…
...read more here[...] as though little elves and gremlins had dismantled the city brick by brick and reassembled it in its exact mirror image. I feel as though the city I am approaching will be the exact opposite of the one I left behind only ten days ago. [...]
...read more hereToday I’m heading up to Portland to meet one of my favorite bloggers… I don’t know why I’m so nervous. After all the crazy people I’ve met in San Diego, a friendly face will be so welcome… I have to pack my stuff… excuse me…
...read more hereI suppose that was the “mark.” Nobody else hit on me in the hotel after he spoke those words. Ha… that’s a lie… they hit on me all right, but not while he was present. Men seemed to tiptoe around him. They respectfully waited until he had left the room.
...read more hereI’m starting to sit and wonder these days… do tourists get as much attention in New York as I’m getting in San Deigo? The thing is that while I’ve encountered tourists in New York, I’ve never been one. For the most part, I look just like everyone else. In San Diego, though, I seem to have a sign tacked to my forehead… and it’s sure getting me a lot of attention. [...]
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Ergh… I don’t know if I drank too much… but I drank a hell of a lot…
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