I almost didn’t come up and visit today. I thought about it at home before going into the city at all. I thought about it again when I was already in the city, working on the school computers. I almost send him an email saying that I know I said I was coming but I [...]
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I found this earlier this morning over at NYC girl at heart and realized that I complain entirely too much, so I made a mental note to think about it and blog later this evening. Well it’s later this evening now, but I haven’t thought about it until now. (Why am I so negative?) But, better late than never, n’est-ce pas?
So here goes: The Ten Happiest Days of My Life (in chronological order or as close to it as I can manage)
...read more hereI think it has finally occurred to me that I’m supposed to be single now… except that I’m not entirely certain what “single” means anyhow. Does that mean that any and everyone is fair game, or does it mean that I am fair game? I’m starting to think it’s more the latter than the former. [...]
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I made a pact today with my friend in Harlem that today was going to be a good day regardless of what obstacles stood in the way. We pinky-swore to it. (Clearly, we’re both eight years old.) I think I’ve upheld my promise so far. Even though I’m a little tired because I didn’t sleep well last night, I have too many things to do because I have to do all the things today that I didn’t get to yesterday, I’m a little worried about the future, I’m a little hungry because I haven’t eaten since breakfast, I found out today that my purse is just a little bit broken, and there’s no place in the campus library (which is where I am now) to curl into a child’s pose… I don’t care. It’s a good day because I swore to it.
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He picked me up with his strong arms like I was a feather pillow (oh, let’s be real: I weigh like seven pounds), set me down gingerly on a low mattress and dominated me like a gentleman. There was no wine and no food and he chose to play the Doors of all fucking choices (which explains why the boy can’t sing, come to think of it) but in a moment of wrapping my arms and legs around that body which was so perfect Michelangelo could have sculpted it, I realized that this was exactly what I had wanted, and in fact was what I had wanted for the entirety of my sexual awareness since puberty: a large, gentle, and dominating man.
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What’s a girl supposed to be looking for anyway? Love? Hardly. Not even “hardly.” Absolutely not… at least not now. It occurred to me that I know myself by my… generous (for lack of a better word) capacity to fall in love, but I might just be tapped out at the moment. I feel like a soldier (or a supersoldier, rather) who realizes that the fact that he’s not dead after the latest grueling defeat means that he must be strong and getting stronger, but still opts to spend a little time in the infirmary rather than proudly displaying his broken bones and bruised flesh in the next battle.
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I missed it last week, didn’t I? Well, I’m not missing it this week! I went looking on youtube for Leon Thomas singing this, and found India Arie and had to had to had to share it!
...read more here7. What ambitions, wishes or desires, for your life, do you still hold close to your heart? I don’t hold ambitions close to my heart. I fucking act on them.
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I ended up staying in the bathroom for over an hour. My nose and cheeks had swollen up to twice their normal size. My fingertips were swollen as well, and bright red. My stomach would not allow my legs to keep me perpendicular enough to cool my face down with wet paper towels, and eventually I crumbled into a corner, keeping my face near the cold tile floor and trying not to be conspicuous, even as several ladies came in and out of the bathroom wondering whose pants those were in the corner of the far stall.
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[...] I turn up your stereo as
the near-silence grows eerie.
Wes Montgomery is playing the guitar.
I am tired. Your voice is like jazz. [...]
